


Can't Say No

by WiltingGirl



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Attempted Murder, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:04:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6466045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiltingGirl/pseuds/WiltingGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grimmjow is getting out of prison after attempting to kill his boyfriend, Ichigo. And Ichigo isn't sure how to react when all Grimmjow wants to do is explain himself and make things right between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Say No

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I started months ago but never planned on publishing, so if some parts about how Ichigo feels sound a lot like "Hesitation" that's because I used elements from this in that. But I decided to finally post this and it's gonna be updated soon so, I hope you like this!

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

Ichigo held his umbrella with one hand and his cellphone with the other as he walked down the dark street. A few shops around provided a nice neon glow to the puddles on the asphalt, but still, there wasn't enough light to keep Ichigo from feeling uneasy.

He knitted his eyebrows together. "Yeah, I'll be fine, Rukia." He lied. He was almost certain he wouldn't get any sleep tonight.

Rukia sighed from the other end, definitely not believing him. "If you feel like you need someone there, call your dad."

Ichigo ran a hand through his damp hair as he stood at the crosswalk and waited for the sign to change. "He's out of town for a meeting. But I'm serious, I'll take my medication if I have to."

"You should have moved while you had the chance." Rukia mumbled sadly. She was really protective of Ichigo ever since the incident.

Ichigo scoffed bitterly. "I didn't think he'd get out so soon. I wasn't even informed until last week. That's not nearly enough time to find a place to move to."

"I know just...seriously ask for help if you need it. There's no shame in that."

Ichigo smiled softly. "Yeah, thanks. I'm gonna go now."

"Alright, take care of yourself you big idiot."

Ichigo hung up and his mood instantly dropped as he walked to the front of his apartment complex. He put the code in and took the elevator up to the third floor where his apartment was. His umbrella dripped water down onto the carpeted floor of the hall but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Taking his own key out to apartment five, he glanced at apartment six. Ichigo's chest began to tense up uncomfortably. He felt a panic attack coming on so he hurriedly unlocked his door, throwing the umbrella and the bag of what was supposed to be dinner on the floor.

Ichigo ran to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet to pull out his medication. He hadn't taken it in a while since his panic attacks had seemed to have been taking a break on wrecking his nerves. He swallowed one dry and turned the sink on to brush his teeth.

He already took a shower that morning but since he was in the bathroom already he decided to take another one. He stripped his shirt off and pushed his jeans and underwear down to step out of them. He kicked his clothes to the side against the hamper, promising himself that he would pick them up later.

Ichigo twisted the knobs of the shower, testing the water and adjusting accordingly. The hot water felt so good on his tense muscles. Speaking of muscles, he had more of them now. Before, he had been _just_ lean, but both his friend Rukia and his father insisted that he work out. His old therapist told him it was a great idea, it would keep him from feeling helpless.

Ichigo started washing his body, but when his hand slipped over his chest he cringed visibly. The scar there was a fucking menace. It was jagged and a few shades lighter than his skin. Worst of all it was a reminder of _that man_. The same man who used to live in apartment six and the same man that tried to kill him a year and a half ago.

Ichigo finished his shower and pulled on a pair of sweatpants. He turned the television on in his bedroom; the noise helped him sleep. He opened the drawer in his bedside table, taking out two bottles. One pill was for nightmares and the other just a simple sleeping aid. He swallowed both together and got under his comforter.

He could feel a headache coming on. His body wanted to cry but he wouldn't allow it. He didn't want that man to control his emotions anymore. Ichigo turned on his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. His ex boyfriend that had tried to kill him was going to be out and free to do as he pleased tomorrow. That man knew how to lie his way out of anything, and by pleading insanity, he was let off with one year of prison and an unknown amount of time in a mental health facility.

Ichigo clenched his eyes shut when the memories started flooding in as if that would make it stop. He could still _feel_ Grimmjow's hands on him, pinning him down by his throat. Ichigo coughed but tried to tell himself that it wasn't happening right now. _Just breathe_.

A lot of things changed since then. People couldn't handle knives around him or touch him too quickly without him knowing. Rukia used to come over and sleep on the couch because sometimes he needed someone there. His previous birthday was silent and he stayed home alone because his birthday also just happened to be the same day he and Grimmjow first met. Ichigo didn't feel like celebrating that day anymore.

When they first met, Ichigo was smitten. Grimmjow was so charming and he flirted with Ichigo relentlessly. Ichigo agreed to go on a date with him, which went fantastically and they became a couple that night.

Ichigo could feel his medication starting to kick in and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep. Tomorrow was going to be hectic and he needed to be well rested.

…

Ichigo woke up and stretched, getting up to pull his curtain back to see how the weather was. It was still raining but he was fine with that. He decided that he was going to stay inside all of the day to avoid Grimmjow at all costs. He really wished that he would have gotten a restraining order, but somehow that had slipped his mind. He would get one later though, if Grimmjow tried to contact him. But it would have been kind of hard for the man not to contact him, seeing as how he lived right next door. Ichigo bit his lip and pulled on an undershirt and got up to go to the kitchen.

On his way there, Ichigo spotted the bag of groceries he left on the floor and sighed, putting the contents of it in the fridge. He forced himself to make toast. His stomach was uneasy but he needed to eat, he'd already gone four days without food.

Taking a bite of the bland toast, Ichigo almost started choking on it when he heard the door from the apartment next to his open and then slam shut. His stomach was in knots, he took a drink of water from the tap of the kitchen sink. Ichigo leaned against the sink, slumped over. His knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the counter. He felt like he was going to vomit. It was mostly because he was still in love with Grimmjow, and knowing that the man was there not only scared the shit out of him, but also made him feel like he wanted to see him.

Ichigo knew it was wrong on every level. It was ten different kinds of fucked up. But before Grimmjow tried to stab him to death, the man was actually very sweet. Ichigo still didn't know why Grimmjow had done it. He never bothered explaining it. He just stabbed Ichigo in the chest and left him there to die. Luckily Rukia was supposed to be over to hang out and she found him and called the authorities along with an ambulance. Ichigo almost died, the knife just barely missed his heart but definitely ripped through some things that caused him to lose blood.

Ichigo started shaking as he recalled the night. He had just come back from seeing his father and sisters. He was pleasantly surprised to see Grimmjow sitting on his living room couch. But there seemed to be something wrong, because he wasn't acting like himself. When Ichigo had asked what was wrong, Grimmjow went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. Ichigo didn't have time to see what was in his hand when his boyfriend pinned him to the ground by his throat. Ichigo tried bringing his hands up to pry Grimmjow off of him, but the air was leaving his body and weakened him. The stab itself was dull at first, most likely from shock, but as the blade was twisted deeper he could _feel_ his chest muscles ripping and he let out an agonizing sound. Grimmjow pulled the knife out and threw it to the side, leaving without saying a single word.

Ichigo was about to grab his phone and call someone to come over, but he stopped. He wanted to do this on his own. He had grown since then, he could handle himself and he was tired of calling someone over to cry on their shoulder. He ran a hand through his hair and laid down on the couch, reaching for the remote to his stereo. Ichigo hated silence, it was uncomfortable and made him feel like something bad was going to happen. He didn't care what music played, he just needed the noise.

He almost drifted off into a nap, but he was quickly brought to his senses when there was a knock on his door. It wasn't harsh, but it still made his hands start shaking. Because shit, no one in his building had a reason to knock on his door and everyone he talked to was out of town.

Still, Ichigo stood up and walked to the door. He felt like his legs were about to give out.

"Who is it?" _Good_ , he sighed. He managed to speak without his voice wavering.

There was silence from the other end at first and Ichigo wondered if he had waited too long to get to the door.

"Can we talk?"

Ichigo immediately slid his back against the door until he was sitting on the floor. He could feel his throat tightening up in a faux sensation of it closing up. He hadn't heard that voice in so long.

"Ichigo, c'mon." Grimmjow muttered, sounding impatient but not menacing.

Ichigo could feel tears dripping down his chin, he didn't even notice that he had started crying. He stood up on shaking legs, suddenly feeling angry.

He punched the door. "Go the _fuck_ away." There was venom in his tone, he wanted Grimmjow to know that he was stronger now.

"I just wanna talk, let me in...please?"

Ichigo wanted to bash the man's face in. Grimmjow _never_ used the word 'please'. Not for anyone or anything.

"We can talk in the hallway if that would be more comfortable for you."

Ichigo cursed himself as he started unlocking the many sets of locks on his door. But he stopped and took a deep breath before actually opening it. He had to brace himself before even being able to _look_ at the other man.

More tears.

As soon as he opened the door all he could do was cry and he fucking _hated_ it. The smirk on Grimmjow's face faded.

"Shit, baby are you okay?" Grimmjow reached out to touch Ichigo's shoulder lightly.

Ichigo reacted violently, punching Grimmjow square in the jaw.

"Do _not_ fuck with me." Ichigo spat as he wiped his own tears away. It felt so good to hit Grimmjow and he just wanted to do it over and over again.

Grimmjow rubbed at his now sore jaw. "I guess I deserved that."

Ichigo let out a laugh devoid of all humor as he choked out another sob. "Let me fucking _stab_ you, then we'll be even. What the fuck do you even _want_ from me, Grimmjow?"

Grimmjow was about to try and touch him again but decided against it. "I want _you_."

Ichigo deadpanned. "Oh no, no, no, _no_. You don't get to do this to me, no fucking way."

"I fuckin' missed you." Grimmjow had a pained expression, almost as if he didn't understand why Ichigo was acting like this.

Ichigo scoffed and felt his hands shaking in both rage and fear. "You tried to kill me. Can you get that through your fucking head? You tried to _kill_ me! What the hell is wrong with you!?"

Grimmjow shoved his hand in his jean pocket. Ichigo looked at his face. Grimmjow looked tired, but still just as handsome. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

"I'll explain it to you if you let me take you out for lunch." Grimmjow smirked.

Ichigo felt disgusted at the smile. He used to adore it, but now he just wanted it to go away. As much as he would like to tell Grimmjow to fuck off, he still wanted to know why Grimmjow had tried to kill him. It was the one thing Ichigo could never understand.

"It has to be in a heavily populated area. And when we come back we go our separate ways. You don't go into my apartment, I don't go in yours."

Grimmjow nodded. "Of course."

Ichigo heaved out a sigh. His palms were starting to sweat. Grimmjow leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but Ichigo shoved his face away quickly.

"Don't touch me. Just... _don't_."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, fuck. I just wanna apologize."

"I'll never be able to forgive you, I hope you know that. You ruined my fucking life, Grimmjow."

"I wanna try and make it better." Grimmjow grinned. "Wait here."

Ichigo stood still as he watched Grimmjow walk into his own apartment. Now was his chance to run if he wanted to. But he didn't want to. He wanted to finally understand.

Before he could decide on whether to stay or not, Grimmjow came back out of his apartment with some behind his back.

With the trauma he had, Ichigo took a step back. He had no idea what Grimmjow could have been holding and he really didn't like not knowing.

Grimmjow's smile was uncharacteristically soft when he finally revealed a bouquet of flowers.

Ichigo stared at them, and then looked back to the man holding them.

"Flowers…" His tone was flat at first. "The same man who told me that flowers were the shittiest gift someone could get, got me flowers." He laughed breathily, a little upset that it was genuine.

Grimmjow shrugged. "I couldn't think of anything else."

"You idiot…" Ichigo wanted to kick himself for the smile that was creeping up on his own face.

"If you got anything else in mind that you want, just let me know, okay? I'll get you anything you want, just name it."

"I shouldn't even be talking to you…" Ichigo glanced both ways in the hallway, making sure no one was around. He would have felt bad if someone witnessed them having a conversation since everyone knew what what had gone down between them.

"C'mon, let me prove how sorry I am. I promise I'll treat you like fuckin' gold from now on."

Ichigo bit his lip, looking down at the flowers in his hand. He blew out a breath and then finally looked back up to Grimmjow.

"Okay."


End file.
